The First Match

Today I created a Hinge account. I thought about making a Tinder profile, but after talking to my brother last night, I decided against it. Hinge is supposed to have better-quality matches. So I sat in the corner of my sectional in my basement apartment of my brother’s house and got to work. After filling out some personal information, selecting pictures and answering prompts in a “normal but also show my sense of humor” type of way, my profile was ready to go.

Within a couple of hours I had dozens of matches. I guess that’s how it goes – guys stalk the app and immediately like any new profiles that show up around them. Some guys looked cute, others looked like fuck boys, and others were an immediate no. I matched with a few of them and started chatting.

GUY: *Liked your photo*

GUY: Hey, how’s it going?

GUY: Why is a girl as pretty as you still single?

GUY: *insert The Office quote in response to my prompt*

GUY: Your coffee order is caramel and your next boyfriend will be named “GUY”

There was one that particularly stood out to me: let's call him Jack. He was cute, responsive and his profile had some funny content. “My superpower is solving middle school snapchat drama.” I was definitely intrigued. We talked about coffee, where we grew up in the county, what we do for work. I was leaving for the shore for a week on Tuesday (3 days from now), so he asked to meet for coffee the next day. Unfortunately, I was babysitting that afternoon, so we settled on drinks and apps in the evening instead. I hoped time would go quickly so I didn’t lose my nerve.

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I haven’t told anyone I am going on a date today. I haven’t even told them I have a Hinge account. This is personal for me and a journey I have to take on my own. And after the endless support and, honestly, the hell I have put my family through in recent months, I think I need to give them a break. But I’ll get to that.

I went to my sister’s house and watched my niece (1) and nephew (3). They are so cute and love playing with me I am so beyond blessed – and can’t wait to see them with their baby sibling in a few months from now. At 4 PM, my sister was back, and I thought about telling her where I was going. But I couldn’t get the words out. I left to go home and get ready for my date.

As I was driving down the street heading to my date, I saw my brother coming down the road from the store. I stopped and rolled down the window.

“I’m going on a date. I’ll be at this restaurant with a guy named Jack. If you don’t hear from me in an hour then I was probably kidnapped,” I said, a hint of a smile on my face.

My brother laughed. “Sounds good. Have fun!”

I pulled into the parking lot in Piermont and eyed the last open spot – until a white Subaru Legacy pulled in and claimed it. Funny – it almost looked like Jack, but I wasn’t too sure. I was early, so I circled until someone else left, and I parked. Despite being ten minutes early, I got out of my car and headed to the restaurant before I changed my mind. I walked past the white car, but the man didn’t look up from his phone. I stood outside the restaurant, opened my phone, and sent a Hinge message saying I was here. Two minutes later, the guy from the white car walked over, and it was definitely Jack.

While every profile has pictures, it can still be hard to piece them together into a 3D model of a person in your mind. You don’t see the mannerisms, movements or texture in the pictures that you can when you actually see them in the real world. Jack was 31, 5’10 with a medium build. He walked up and we gave a little hug. He smelled good. We walked into the restaurant and got a high-top table by the bar.

We talked for a couple of hours – about what we do for work, where we live, what our families are like. We ordered an appetizer platter, he told me he doesn’t like cheese on food, I told him I don’t eat fish, and we had a great time. As nervous as I had been, I was smiling and relaxed, until it came up.

“So did you move from your parent’s house into your apartment?” Jack asked.

I tensed a little, because I would never lie.

“Um, not exactly, no. I – er, well – I am selling my house,” I said.

“Oh wow, you have a house?”

“Well, I did. You see – I didn’t really plan on bringing it up tonight since it’s our first date –"

“You don’t have to. I didn’t mean to pry,” Jack cut in.

“No, no,” I said. “I don’t mind talking about it, and I have nothing to hide. You see, I am divorced.”

There it was. On my *first* first date in 6 years, I spat it out.

“Oh, I’m sorry. We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want.”

I sighed. “It’s a little weird to bring up, because it’s not like you bring up past relationships on a first date, but being I was married I think it is a little different and I would always want to be honest.”

I continued. “All I will say is I did not enter or end it lightly. It just didn’t work; it’s for the best and in the past now.”

Jack gave me an encouraging smile. “I totally understand. Thank you for sharing that with me and I appreciate you being honest.” He then changed the subject to his upcoming vacation to visit his parents who were in Myrtle Beach for the entire summer.

We had another round of drinks, and after a couple of hours decided it was time to go as we both had to work in the morning. Jack walked me to my car, past his white Subaru which I had been cursing for taking the last spot only a little while ago, and he gave me a hug.

“I’ll message you and maybe we can figure out if we want to see each other again,” Jack said.

“Okay, thank you! Get home safe,” I said, a little puzzled. I thought the date went pretty well, even though the “D” word was brought up, so I didn’t really understand why he wouldn’t want to get together again. Nevertheless, I got in my car, called my sister and told her about my date.

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Me: Hey, thank you for last night. I had a great time!

I put my head in my hands. I couldn’t wait any longer for him to reach out and felt like I needed to throw a message out there. It was 6 AM the next morning, I got out of my car and walked into my building.

An hour later, I saw the Hinge notification.

Jack: So did I! I would like to see you again when you’re back if you’d like. Here is my number if you’d prefer to text.

The smile on my face reached my whole body.